Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated