whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.