god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
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I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.