Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

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  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (538) Bad night (1534)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  How much beer did you get for it?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied

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  (440): Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds (1-440): How much beer did you get for it? (440): One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied http://tfl.nu/6auu
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (1535)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"

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  (815): I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck" http://tfl.nu/5odg
  Replies (27) Good night (3788) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm going for alcohol poisoning.

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  (816): I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight. (417): I'm going for alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/l0is
  Replies (21) Good night (5959) Bad night (880)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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  (765): After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself. http://tfl.nu/i4wo
  Replies (14) Good night (1639) Bad night (5610)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?

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  (727): would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right? http://tfl.nu/emka
  Replies (7) Good night (3331) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.

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  (503): Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cj8d
  Replies (8) Good night (2590) Bad night (659) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

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  (774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14
  Replies (8) Good night (1382) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

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  (409): You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off http://tfl.nu/0o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (417) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.

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  (806): He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead. http://tfl.nu/inpn
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals

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  (773): Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals http://tfl.nu/fp9n
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.

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  (307): She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche. http://tfl.nu/hl4o
  Replies (7) Good night (522) Bad night (1542)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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  (215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (254) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (155) Bad night (398) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.

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  (651): Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called. http://tfl.nu/hamr
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt

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