i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
that is very illegal...i love you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
