I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
