I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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