Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
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I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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