Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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