now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
