I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
