awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
