I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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