I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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