mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My feet surprised me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
