so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize