I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
