at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
