we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
