Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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