i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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