Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
