T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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