people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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