You're a womanizer and a bitch.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
