i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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