Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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