Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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