The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
