This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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