sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize