I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
