god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
