I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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