Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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