The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
