Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
