VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
