ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
