nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
