i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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