these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
