Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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