She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
