I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
