is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
