Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
