im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
