You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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