I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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