yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
