Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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