what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Panties = found
Randomize
