my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
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