I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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