Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
