I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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