mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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