Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
