Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
