There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
