Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
