Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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