we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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